<aside> <img src="/icons/book_gray.svg" alt="/icons/book_gray.svg" width="40px" /> Source

Most of this document is a direct excerpt from The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership.

</aside>

COMMITMENT FIVE

Eliminating Gossip

Above the Line: I commit to ending gossip, talking directly to people with whom I have a concern, and encouraging others to talk directly to people with whom they have an issue or concern.

Below the Line: I commit to saying things about people that I would not or will not say to them. I commit to talking about people in ways I wouldn’t if they were in the room. I commit to listening to others when they gossip.

Keys

• What is Gossip? Any statement about another made by someone with negative intent…OR…any statement about another that the speaker would be unwilling to share in exactly the same way if that person were in the same room.
• Gossip is one’s an attempt to validate the righteousness of their thinking.
• Benefits of Gossip (why people Gossip): to feel superior (make others wrong), to feel right (gain validation), to feel in control (control others), to get attention (look what I know…), divert attention (did you see what they did?), avoid conflict (vent to someone other than the person in mind), avoid feeling or expressing authentic emotions (fear, sadness, anger are not honored as valuable in many organizational cultures), or creating alliances (based in shared victimhood).
• Many people choose to listen to gossip to avoid the discomfort of establishing a boundary.

Cleaning Up Gossip

• Reveal to those to whom you have been gossiping
• Reveal to the person about whom you have been gossiping
• Reveal to the gossiper to whom you have been listening

When it is NOT Gossip

• When the conversation’s purpose is to serve the people you’re discussing.