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Most of this document is a direct excerpt from The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership.

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COMMITMENT FOUR

Speaking Candidly

Above the Line: I commit to saying what is true for me. I commit to being a person to whom others can express themselves with candor.

Below the Line: I commit to withholding my truth (facts, feelings, things I imagine) and speaking in a way that allows me to try to manipulate an outcome. I commit to not listening to the other person.

Keys

• At any moment, leaders are either revealing or concealing.
• Reveal or Conceal: Withhold → Withdraw → Project vs. Reveal → Connect → Own
• Withholding is not a moral issue, but rather an energetic one. When we withhold, we cut ourselves off from the free flow of energy necessary for individual and collective creativity, innovation, and implementation.
• When we withhold, we withdraw, no longer fully engaging.
• Projection is seeing the other person through your judgments about them and believing them to be right.
• Revealing: “I had the judgment you…”
• Connecting: “I want to have a great relationship with you, so I want to be open about…”
• Own: How is your judgment an insight we can own about ourselves?
• Initially, practice this kind of candor only when you have a shared commitment to candor.
• Don’t practice candor in order to change the other person.