<aside> <img src="/icons/book_blue.svg" alt="/icons/book_blue.svg" width="40px" /> Source


Matt Mochary’s Mochary Method Curriculum

</aside>

Fear and Anger give bad advice (5 min)

Video of Matt talking about how fear and anger give bad advice (3 min)

Video of Justin Kan (Twitch, Atrium) talking about a time fear and anger gave him bad advice (5 min)

The essence of my coaching is to prove to you that when you feel fear or anger, your brain gives you bad advice. Whenever you notice that you are experiencing fear/anger, therefore, my recommendation is that you do one of the following:

Now, of course, you will be saying, "Why? What proof do you have that my brain gives me bad advice when I am in anger or fear?" The write-up below is my attempt to give you that evidence. But the best way is to try the suggestions above one time and see how things turn out. My prediction is that they will turn out well, and then you will not even need to read the rest of this write-up.

But in case you still want to read more ...

The pre-frontal cortex (located in the frontal lobe) is the part of our brain that is generally credited for problem-solving and creative thought. The amygdala (situated near the basal stem and often referred to as "the reptile brain") is that part of our brain which generates the emotion of fear or Anger (when presented with new, risky, or threatening stimuli).

In his book The Righteous Mind, John Haidt argues convincingly that human thought starts with an emotion. We react to external stimuli with an emotion (joy, sadness, fear, etc.). Then our powerful brain comes up with a story or perceived-fact pattern that explains our feelings. Once we create this story, confirmation bias causes us to see facts that further support our story, only hardening our belief in its "truth."

Emotions are valuable and intelligent signals for us. Fear signals that there is something new here or something potentially risky. It is helpful for us to be aware of that so that we don't proceed recklessly ahead. Similarly, anger signals that there is something that is potentially harming us or those around us. It is valuable for us to be aware of this so that we don't allow it to continue unabated.

But that is where the intelligence of fear and anger ends. Our rational brain will create a story that justifies fear or anger. This story is usually a prediction that some horrible things will happen if we do an action (or don't do an action). The evolutionary value of fear is that it kept humans alive in a world where risk (the presence of a wild animal) or newness (an unknown berry) often led to death. By preventing humans from proceeding in those situations, fear kept humans alive. So whatever story the mind created to justify the fear contributed to keeping humans alive. A similar pattern existed for anger.

That was then. In the modern world, the stories that fear creates do prevent us from acting. They do preserve our ego. But they also have a tremendous opportunity cost. By not acting, we never know if the board member that we do not have trust with would step down if we asked them, or whether the person in a critical role who is not performing well (but whom we think we cannot afford to have quit) would start performing if we gave them kind-hearted direct feedback.

When we encounter the unknown, fear predicts that something terrible will happen if we move forward. (Anger predicts that bad things will continue to happen unless we move forward.) But, by definition, we cannot be sure of what will happen in the future. There is a chance that something good will result from the action. If we think about that possibility for several minutes and allow ourselves to breathe deeply, fear often turns into excitement.

And if we do move forward, we often discover that either our negative predictions don't materialize. Or, if they do, the result is still better than the current state. And when that happens, hopefully, we also have the thought: "Fear (or anger) was giving me bad advice. I'm glad I didn't follow it."

For a more thorough explanation of the above, please read Behave, or listen to the author's explanation in this video (1h13m).