This framework comes from Nonviolent Communication, a great book*.* The idea is that the words we choose can have a big impact on others, even if we have good intentions.

1. Start with an observation: "I noticed there have been a few meetings I've been in with you where you've raised your voice at me or someone else."
2. Then share how you feel: "When this happened, I felt intimidated. I also felt sad and worried about you, as you seemed upset."
3. And then state a need: "I need to know if something is bothering you or if you're overwhelmed so I can help." "In order for me to [BLANK], I need [BLANK]."
4. Finally make a request: "Next time, if there's anything on your mind that's stressing you out or you're worried about, can we find some time to talk about it between us? I can probably help!"