• Table of Contents

Quotes

“All problems are interpersonal relationship problems.”

“To be adult in relationship is not to be conflict-free. It’s to resolve conflict mindfully.”

“The moment one is convinced that “I am right” in an interpersonal relationship, one has already stepped into a power struggle…That is to say, the other party is wrong. At that point, the focus of the discussion shifts from “the rightness of the assertions” to “the state of the interpersonal relationship.” In other words, the conviction that “I am right” leads to the assumption that “this person is wrong,” and finally it becomes a contest and you are thinking, I have to win.”

“I’m saying we need to plan,” Rand said, “and present a unified attack. That we did poorly last time, and it nearly cost us the war. We each thought we knew the best way to go.” He met Egwene’s eyes. “In those days, every man and woman considered themselves to be the leader on the field. An army of generals. That is why we nearly lost. That is what left us with the taint, the Breaking, the madness. I was as guilty of it as anyone. Perhaps the most guilty.”

Resources

Articles & Shorter Reads

• Commitment Five: Eliminating Gossip
• The Contagion
• The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling
  • The Four Horsemen: The Antidotes
  • Three More Horsemen (How We Self-Sabotage)
• Ethan Mollick on Relationship vs. Task Conflict
• Better Working Relationships
• Setting the Table (Difficult Conversations)
• The Communication Funnel
• The Difficulty of Empathizing Up
• Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests ("OFNR")

Books